Movie Review: Vegas in Space

I was first introduced to this film in the seventh grade when my brother and some of his friends discovered it in the "WTF Section" of our local video store. They were all appalled at the overall quality of the movie and it became a contest amongst them to see who could watch the most of it before they had to turn it off. And I sat on the stairs behind them, watching silently, thinking the movie was actually kind of funny. Some day, I thought to myself, I'm going to watch this and make it all the way through. It's not that bad. This was two years before I started to think I might be gay.
Now, six years later, I find this movie in the LGBTQ section on Netflix. I'm shocked to find it at all, let alone there. Somehow, the idea that this was actually a gay-central film had completely gone over my head. I guess I never put to much thought into it. I mean, really, they took sex-changing pills and all of the women were just men in wigs and makeup. How dense was I?
For those of you who have never seen the movie (so, pretty much everyone), here's the breakdown:
1) The plot is okay, but it's filled with holes and lacks integrity. The basic structure is easy and archetypal: crime fighters go undercover to catch a thief and save the universe. But then they go on these tirades that are like inside jokes that no one's really in on. First, to give reasoning to this movie being an all-but-two-cast of drag queens, they say that the police going under cover must take "sex-changing pills" so they can be granted entrance to the all-female colony of Vegas in Space (it's on the planet Clitoris in the Beaver Sector. Not kidding.) From there, it only gets worse.
2) The script is horrifying. Horrible. Terrible. Awful. Really, any word that means "bad." It's... it's all of them. It's campy and I know that it's sort of a spoof of itself, but really, they lost that hold on reality. They went from being a movie that's good because it's bad, to being a movie that's bad because it can't even make fun of itself. This might be because Doris Fish, the writer, was also the lead role and actually got her fame as a popular drag queen in San Francisco. She may be a helluva queen, but I don't think her talents spread as far as she thinks they do. Sorry, Doris.

3) That being said, Doris also designed the sets, miniatures, and costumes. And for a really-low-budget, eight-year production, these aspects actually turned out pretty well. The drag queens were dressed to the nines and, while it's definitely not my style, their extravagancies were unparalleled in glitz and glamour. From eighties hair that would take out a building to flowing I-don't-even-know-what that looks like it's just waiting to be tripped on, this film has got it all. Its wild and eclectic costumes are pretty inspired, and I think Lady Gaga could actually take some tips.

4) The acting flat-out sucks. Enough said.

In the end, this is my verdict:
Watchability: 4 - This movie is pretty hard to get through, but it has shining moments (plus a fuel for the drive to finish it. you just know you'll get this sense of pride after finishing it... you just know it)
Understandability: 2 - There are jumps between scenes and ideas thrown in there that really mess with the audience, making it hard to follow and even harder to believe in the character's actions. Unlike in horror movies where you're screaming "DON'T GO IN THE BASEMENT!!", Vegas in Space just has you going "What the fuck just happened and why does that dragon have tits?"
Enjoyability: 5 - It had some shining funny points and the campy humor, while not rescuing the film entirely, did make it bearable. And while I, myself, enjoyed it immensely, I understand that this film does not, I repeat: DOES NOT, appeal to all audiences. But those who enjoy a dip into the ridiculous will get a good laugh out of this.
Overall Quality: 4 - It's just slow and the acting's bad and the special effects are Death-Valley-low budget.
Recommendation: Received - This movie may absolutely suck, but in the end I still like it. Throughout the entire movie I was thinking, "God, when is this going to end?" And it still had me thinking, "What an awesome film!" by the time it was finished. How the hell does that happen? I have no idea, but despite its pretty low scores in all categories, this movie gets my recommendation with flying colors -- rainbow colors, that is. It's horrible, sure, but something about it really sparkles and shines, and it will continue to catwalk circles around my brain until the day I die.


"C'mon guys. Let's go change sex."